I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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