apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
