lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
