There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
