dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
