He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
