come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
