So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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