'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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