Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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