I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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