Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
