I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
