can u get pink eye on your cock?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
