Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's shark week go big or go home
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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