Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
