At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
