thus making me awesome and them whores
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
