TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
