so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
