soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
