Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
jump out the window naked night went bad
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