my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
