Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
