you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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