I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
