i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
