i jhust puked up my retainher.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
