Fuck appropriateness.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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