I love having hate sex.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
