they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
