I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
