He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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