she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
