How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
