Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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