I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This baby is an asshole
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
