gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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