we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
