Already got asked if we're dating
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
