told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
