I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
