a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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