therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
