I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
