I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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