who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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