I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
