So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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