Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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