found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
