i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
